Love Over Fear with Michele Bolanos

In this first episode of the Wilding Fifty podcast, Michele Bolanos talks about how to overcome fear of the unknown and in the process develop a deep love for yourself. She is honest about the long road of trial, error and practice to become proficient at any skill whether that be surfing, teaching yoga or moving into the real estate business. I hope you enjoy this surf tale.

Episode Highlights:
[00:00] Knowing Yourself through Yoga
[02:58] Imagine the Wave has Teeth
[13:38] Learning on Bigger Waves
[17:26] A Surfboard on the City Bus
[25:50] Humble is the Way
[34:54] Love Over Fear

Quotes from Michele Bolanos:
"I set an intention for myself. I am going to let go of fear. Do the things that make you uncomfortable, you never know if you are going to get the barrel of your life unless you go!"

"If you stay in your comfort zone, you don't grow, you get bored. I've caught myself getting stuck and you're not sure why you don't feel good, why you don't wake up motivated, and you're like, oh, it's because I don't have a challenge."

"Yoga taught me how to love myself, especially after doing the teacher training. I was like, I love myself enough to do what I need to do."

Get in touch with Michele Bolanos

• Instagram @mermaidsurfs
• Email: Michele.bolanos@compass.com

More about Christine Foerster

• christinefoerster.com
• Instagram @christinefoerster

Chapters

• 1:00 Knowing Yourself through Yoga
• 2:58 Imagine the Wave has Teeth
• 13:38 Learning on Bigger Waves
• 17:26 A Surfboard on the City Bus
• 25:50 Humble is the Way
• 34:54 Love Over Fear

Transcript

Wilding Fifty: Surf Tales. Episode 1: Love Over Fear with Michele Bolanos

Michele: [00:00:00] So I set an intention. And I remember the intention was, I am going to let go of fear. Do the things that make you uncomfortable, even if you don't want to. You never know you're gonna get the best barrel of your life if you don't go!

Christine: Hello and welcome to Wilding Fifty. I'm your host, Christine Foerster. In this podcast, I will be interviewing surfers for my local breaks and beyond, following a surf session. Whether you are learning to surf like me, keen on, new adventures, or in the mood for a good conversation, I hope you will find some inspiration with these surf tales.

Christine: Hello, It is my great pleasure to begin the Wilding Fifty Podcast with Michele Bolanos. Michele talks openly about how to overcome fear of the unknown, and in the process develop a deep love for your. She is honest about the long road of trial error and practice to get proficient at any skill, whether that be surfing, teaching, yoga, or moving into the real estate business. I hope you enjoy this surf tale.

Christine: Hi Michele. Thanks so much for joining me today. So I've admired you for quite some time now because you possess such grace and ease when you teach your yoga classes, and now that we've surfed together, I have a better idea of where that comes from. 

Michele: Well, it wasn't, it wasn't always like that teaching. I remember when I first started teaching, let's see, it was, uh, May, 2016. And not only was I, you know, not going through great stuff in life, but, I always would drive up to Peace Love and Yoga. Yoga was on the 78, you know, and I would just be like, if something bad happened right now, and I didn't make it to the yoga studio, I wouldn't be that sad. Or I'd sit in the corner right before class and, and not wanna go in . Yeah. You know, and then I remember one time, Tamara, she just said. You know how she is. She's just very straight up, right? I love that about her. She was like, Hey, you know, you just gotta be yourself. And after she said that, I remember just being okay with being myself. And if I said something weird and I just smile and everybody would smile, it felt better after that. 

Christine: You have to get used to yourself in that position, and I guess you. You're trying out different ways until you come back to yourself and then somehow it flows better maybe. 

Michele: Yeah. Yeah. When I stopped caring about what others thought about me, I was like, I don't have to have the yoga voice, and, you know, look a certain way. I feel like as soon as I let go of what I thought I was supposed to be, I became better as a teacher, I stopped thinking about myself and was more focused on what I had. What I was there to do is to, to give to my students. 

Christine: Exactly. And yesterday too, I had such a fun time, but I was laughing because , I remember thinking that for me, the conditions were perfect. And then you admitted to me that I said, Well, if, we hadn't agreed to go surfing today together, would you even gone out? And you're like, Nope. The ways are too small. 

Michele: And I, and you know what? And I didn't mean to. You know, sound like, Oh yeah, I go out on bigger days. You see the waves and you're like, they're like knee high or waist high. And it's hard sometimes for me to stand up on tiny waves, you know. 

Christine: But that's what I hear, that they're more challenging, aren't they? That the person who can surf the small waves well really knows their stuff. And I was thinking too that when I go surfing, oftentimes I go by myself. And so I'm always looking for the, open spot, the uncrowded spot. And so when I went with you yesterday, we just went straight to the lineup and we entered the water right by the pillars of the pier, which I've never done. I've always wanted to try that. And it was almost like going over a lake. It can't be that easy all the time. But I was wondering if you could just talk a little bit about how the swell changes around that area, and can you always, is that always the ideal place to enter if you're gonna surf the north side of the pier? 

Michele: Well, before I answer that, I just wanna. That's awesome that you got out of your comfort zone and went out there when, you know it was a little crowded. So yeah, great job on that..

Christine: Thank you. 

Michele: But I paddle out next to the pier just depending on what the swell is doing. So like we had a tiny bit of so swell yesterday, so the current was going from the south to north. So when we paddled out on north side it was pretty smooth. But you know, maybe like a month or two ago where there was a couple swells south and north, and I almost got, you know, like I almost ran into one of the pilings because I wasn't being very careful. I didn't because you have the waves coming at you from both south and north [00:05:00] and I was kind of in between just right, and it once almost got me, but I was fine. Yeah, I so a lot of times you gotta be careful. 

Christine: I watched this father and his young daughter go out and they, they actually went underneath, through the pillars. So they started on the north side and then they kind of went through it. And I thought, how are they doing that? But it, it makes sense actually, right? Because you have this structure that's blocking. But it's the same thing about the North Jetty and the harbor people go out by the jetty with the same, probably the same idea, but it feels as if you could just get pounded into the rocks. So I never wanna try it. 

Michele: I used to always think that I was gonna hit the pier, like hit the pilings. So like when we do get that south swell we get like a really good, right? I might have mentioned that to you yesterday, and I used to always think that if I went right, if you're heading towards the pilings, right? But no, the current takes it away from the pilings. If that makes sense. So the right goes to the pilings and then it kind of moves away from the pier, so you're never going to hit the pilings, see? 

Christine: Yeah. And you mentioned that you were looking, you kept saying, Oh, I wanna get a right. And I think you were trying to avoid that big group of surf kids out in their surf school, right? Oh, yeah. With their neon on yellow shirts. 

Michele: Yeah, they're always there every summer. Yeah. That's fun though, that they get to surf. I wish I would've done that when I was little.

Christine: I have the same feeling. Well, I felt a lot of confidence being with you out in the lineup that I'd never felt before. It was really neat to just enter, like we water the water the way you would do it, and then to suddenly be there and it felt very calm. In the beginning, at least in my experience, I've been a lot where the waves are crashing into the whitewash and it's very, tumultuous and busy and you're always kind of trying to deal with the crashing waves. But out there it felt calm. 

Christine: I know that with surf etiquette it's really important to know when it's your turn to take a wave. But in that kind of a lineup, I had heard that people take turns in a way, but it didn't strike me that people were taking turns. It was more that everybody was paddling around and trying to get in the best position to catch the wave. And whoever was in the best position kind of had the right to, Is that correct? Is that how it works? 

Michele: Yeah, you're a good observer. That's very, really good. Yeah. So that's what you do. I mean, when it’s just locals out there, like, let's say it's just locals, which is never really like that anymore. You see a set and usually it's maybe like three or four waves in the set. One person goes, so that person's already on the inside, and then the next person who's in position goes and you just kind of do take turns. But, you know, yesterday the waves were like here and there, so it makes sense to try to be in the best position. You know, like when I was waiting for that right, and that little kid went, and paddled back out and he got the next one.

Christine:  He was taking all the waves. 

Michele: He was so good, and he was positioned better than me, so I wasn't gonna fight him for it anyways. 

Christine: So, And that another thing. I'm still coming into learning all of this, but there is this idea that people who are more advanced or the more experienced surfers that they feel like they are entitled more to the waves, or does that depend on a personality, or does that come in more when it's a beginner versus a non-local that comes in and maybe is not showing the respect? How does that play out during your experience?

Michele: My god, that does happen. So let's say, you know, there's, Okay, so if we notice that someone just keeps falling every time they get up. Then most likely you're just going to paddle on the shoulder and just, and just go wait for them to fall. And most likely you look back and if they keep going, then you just kick out Or if they fell, then you're like, Oh, okay. Thank God I went for this wave. I know this happens a lot and sometimes it sounds kind of mean or unfortunate. If, if the waves are really good and there's locals out there and then there's a bunch of people that aren't familiar faces, then usually it's the locals going on the waves, you know?

Michele: I've seen it to where like there's random people that we've never seen out there and paddle for waves, and then the locals get gnarly. They'll just paddle out and they'll be like, hey, why'd you drop in on me? 

Christine: Well, it's gotta be a little frustrating too. I mean, especially with a place like Oceanside [00:10:00] that now all of a sudden has this big tourist draw and where I think people growing up here never had so many people competing, and then a lot of people that are taking out a foam top for the first time. It gets pretty confusing out there. Or it must get confusing and, a lot of times it seems like people wanna go to the same spots rather than where its open. There’s a big ocean there, but not necessarily where it's open and empty.

Michele: Yeah. It's just because we have that great wave right there. 

Christine: Yeah. which I finally got to experience . 

Michele: And you haven't even seen the best part. 

Christine: And then at one moment you offered to trade boards, which was really fun because you ride this impossibly small, cute little board. It's kind of my dream one day to be able to write a board like that just because I wanna be able to duck dive. It just seems so much more efficient to get through the water that way. But it's a whole different experience. You would think that a smaller board would be easier to handle, and in fact it's much more challenging to sit on it. It's fully submerged in the water, and then the nose is kind of pushing out. I mean it kept flipping out from under me. 

Michele: That's okay. It happens. You get used to it.

Christine: I guess. When I started, I had this small foamy. Then, somebody said, get a bigger board. So I got a wave storm, and now I'm in this smaller seven foot that Robin shaped for me, which is really fun. It still has a lot of girth, right? Yeah. And a lot of stability.

Michele: Yeah. That was almost the perfect board for yesterday. 

Christine: And you gave this tip about paddling. You said something about the waves with teeth that was really neat. 

Michele: So the board that you have is almost meant to paddle way before you even start to see a break. So as soon as you see like a bump, you turn around and you start paddling super hard and you can get in super early. It makes it less scary, you know. So for me, with the short board, I actually kind of have to wait till it's almost breaking to paddle for it.

Christine: Is that because you can't get the right momentum on it? Or what's the reason for waiting? 

Michele: I think it's cuz it's just less foam. 

Christine: Because you're saying with my board, if I were to paddle hard enough with it, I could get in early, so then I'm just riding, I'm kind of going at the same pace of the wave. And you said something about imagine that the wave has teeth on it and it's trying to catch you.

Michele: That's how hard you should be paddling sometimes if you really wanna get a wave. Yeah. 

Christine: You know, I gotta carry that image with me cuz I don't think I'm paddling hard enough sometimes. I think there's also that commitment issue you talked about too, right? That you really have to say, okay, I'm taking this wave, I'm all in, I'm fully committed, and then I'm gonna paddle like mad. 

Michele: But like I said, like we all struggle. You're not really sure what's gonna happen. You don't know what's gonna happen. You've never been in that position. So when you just go for it, it feels uncomfortable, but, you don't learn if you don't go, if you don't try. And I got that obviously from Derek. You know, that was the first time, he made me cry.

Christine: Oh yeah. So tell, tell me about that. 

Michele: We were in Bali and this wave tends to get a little bit bigger. And I remember, he said, Go. And it was actually a perfect wave, but it was just a lot bigger than anything I'd ever surfed. And I pulled back. So I paddled for it and I looked down, I took a peek at it and I pulled my board. And then he paddled over to me and he said, What happened? And I was just like, Oh, I didn't wanna go. And he kind of mimics me. He pulls the board back and then he falls on his back. And he says, do you think that's what Kelly Slater does? And he is like, don't do that ever. If you're gonna paddle for a wave, go for it.

Michele: Because that could have been the wave of your life. And if you don't go, you're never gonna know. And it's only gonna set you up for the next wave, and you're gonna be like, I have bad memories of that last wave. I'm not gonna go for it. And you'll just do that over and over and over again. So after that I was like, alright. Oh, and a good thing we were out in the water because, so that's when..

Christine: You had a little cry? And then the next wave, you stormed, you took it. 

Michele: I think I did and then I think the board hit me in the face. And my lip was bleeding, my upper lip. I have pictures of that.

Christine: So that was a hard day. [00:15:00]

Michele: He couldn't tell I was crying cuz I was out in the water. But, he always tells me, imagine the wave has teeth like a shark. What would you do? How hard would you paddle then? 

Christine: Well, I've heard this too, that it's hard to get surf tips and from your boyfriend, Right? But it sounds like you guys have done okay 

Michele It’s getting better 

Christine: Particularly you, because it's harder to be on the end of receiving. the feedback and the comments. But you have to be humble, don't you? 

Michele: I was just gonna say, you have to be humble. You know, and he's just trying to help. Why would I be upset?

Christine: I'm sure that's what he's trying to do. I was thinking also when we left the water, we ran into the coolest scene of your friend with his toddler, probably not more than two years old. 

Michele: No. Jeremiah and Paxton, he's not even two.And his daughter Blossom. She just turned 10 and she started surfing five years ago and she's a rock star. She's ripping, so I'm not gonna be surprised when that little grom in a couple years, three or four years, she's just, incredible. Yeah, but it was so cute, wasn't it?

Christine: So just to give the picture, he's in a full suit. He's got a hoodie, he's got a life preserve vest, and then he's got this kind of harness around him so he can hold him from the back. Yes. And then he just paddles out, He props his kid up on the board and then turns, catches a wave and lifts the boy up . Yeah. You see the boy on the front of the board just sailing across the face of the waves, the coolest thing. So cute. And they wrote it all the way to the shore. 

Michele: Yeah. That's what he’s been doing for a long time with Blossom and now he's doing it with his son. So yeah, he paddles for the wave, it looks like a WaveStorm, stands up and then he gets his kid up and there's this funny video of, the kid was looking to the left, I think, cuz he's goofy foot. And he was just like grabbed his head and turned it. He used his two hands to turn his head to look straight ahead.

Christine: So he's just right there in the moment, just giving those little, that bodily awareness feedback and it's awesome. I was telling my mom about it and she says that's how they do it in Norway with skiing, but they just put them on skis as soon as they can walk and these kids are flying down the hill and it's as natural as walking for them.

Michele: So Rad 

Christine: All right, So let's go back to the beginning. Can you tell, tell me how you began surfing? 

Michele: I was 12. And I remember one of my friends back then, she said, Hey, do you wanna come to our surf practice? And I was like, Surf practice. I don't surf. She was like, Just come, just bring your bikini and get in the water. I was like, Okay. I remember she was having so much fun that I think she forgot about me. I mean, she probably saw me. Let's just say her boyfriend at the time, (boyfriend we were 12!). But, uh, Brandon, Brandon Drer. He is awesome. I love him. He's actually not here with us anymore, but he's the one who looked at me and said, hey, get on the surfboard. And he had this tiny little thing like a shortboard, like smaller. And, I got on his board and he was just like, paddle, paddle. And I remember him trying to push me, push the tail or maybe my heels and just push me into waves. And it was just weird. I just fell in love with like paddling and being in the ocean. It was crazy. Nothing, nothing I've ever done before. 

Christine: Did you know how to swim even? 

Michele: Yeah. 

Christine: So you were comfortable enough, but it was that feeling of being on a board and 
getting pushed by wave was new. 

Michele: And I remember that Saturday, my mom and I were driving around and oh, I told her to stop. I was like, Mom, stop. Can we stop at that garage sale? There's surfboards. and she stopped and I was super surprised that she bought two surfboards. I think one of them was $15 and the other one was $20. And they were just old and beat up, one of them, like was a single fin. It was super old, like probably from the seventies. Yellow, beat up and heavy. And the other one was a thruster just with the three fins on the bottom, like a normal short board. And I think she might have taken me out the next day. She took me to Wisconsin. Back when there was sand, right? 

Christine: Yeah

Michele: There was sand and the waves were always good there, I could only go once a week, which was unfortunate. And I feel like that's why it kind of took me a long time to get in the groove of surfing. 

Christine: Because you were reliant on your mom helping you to get there.

Michele: Cause she worked a lot Monday through Friday and so did my dad. And the last thing [00:20:00] they wanted to do was take me to the beach after. When I got a little older, I think when I was like 15, I would beg them to give me like 50 cents just to take the bus. 

Christine: And they would let you on the bus with a surfboard? 

Michele: Yeah. 

Christine: That's incredible. That your mom would buy, not just one surfboard. She bought you two surfboards from a yard sale.

Michele: Yeah, for my little sister and brother, just in case they wanted one. 

Christine: Okay, I see. 

Michele: And my brother actually ended up liking it. My sister could never stand up, so she gave up. But yeah, that was my first wave too. It was always Wisconsin street. Cause that's where my mom would just sit and watch and I could always hear her or see her waving her arms, telling me to stay right there in front of her.

Christine: And your mom, did she have any experience with it, did she enjoy going to the ocean or any experience of surfing or anything?

Michele: No. Not at all. She hated it. She hated it and it sucked. I feel like she could never understand my passion for it. You know, like sometimes I would spend all day, Well, this is when I got a little older. When I was like 15, 16 in high school, I'd be like, alight, it's Saturday, can you please drop me off at the beach at like seven in the morning and I won't call you until later, and I'd be there all day. She didn't understand what surfing was. She's from El Salvador, the waves are great there, but she grew up so differently than I did, so she just didn't understand what surfing was. She knew what soccer was you know, but she didn't understand what surfing was.

Christine: But even, so she seems like she was very supportive in the way that she could, She would take her weekend and…

Michele: Yeah, it was weird. Yeah. She was supportive in that sense. And then when I got older and I was doing it a lot more, I think she was like, oh, this is annoying that I have to take you and pick you up. And, I remember I had a talk with her one time and I just said, hey look, this is what I love to do. Can you please respect that? It's amazing. I love doing this, and then that's when everything changed. 

Christine: Did she have maybe a whole different set of expectations for you or what she hoped you would become or do? Did that play into it at all?

Michele: No, not at all. I don't think it was that. I think it was that she just didn't like driving me to the beach. 

Christine: Fair enough. I mean, . Yeah, we drive our kids around a lot! 

Michele: And I used to be like, how are you tired of driving? You just sit there. She was like, you don't understand. And now I see all these kids super supported by their parents and sometimes I get sad, but I'm like, well, you know, my parents are a little different. They, I mean, they started working when they were nine years old. It's something that you don't see here in the United States. 

Christine: Yeah. It's different, I really wanna meet your mom. I'm actually am so amazed by the story. Because I think that a person, somebody coming from such a different context and not having any knowledge of your interest could also put a huge number of obstacles in your way. And it sounds like maybe she wasn't as supportive as you wanted, but she also didn't really get in your way either. And it she put it on you. Right. And maybe that has made you the person you are today because you had to fight for it, right? You had to beg for your 50 cents, get on the bus with your big surfboard and… 

Michele: It was so embarrassing too, getting on that bus. I remember one time I took a ride from a stranger.

Christine: Really? The bus didn't come or…?

Michele: Well, no. I was waiting for the bus and this car, and I only took it cuz there was another female in the car, there was a couple. And they're like, hey, are you going to the beach? And I was like oh, I have to wait another 20 minutes for the bus. And they're like, we're going down there if you want to get a ride. And I was like, oh my gosh, this, this just means I'm gonna be able to surf longer. 

Christine: Well, I was gonna ask you about specific challenges of learning to surf, but, I think you covered a little bit of the personal, but what are some of the technical struggles when you were first learning?

Michele: Oh my gosh. I remember one of them was duck diving. I think it took me like a year or maybe two years. And I remember just thinking like one day I was paddling out and I said, I am not going to go out there and get a wave until I learn how to duck dive, because this is ridiculous to be out there and then have to ditch my board every time. Oh my gosh. I can't believe I did that for so long. But yeah, and then I remember I did. And I remember I came up and I was like, Oh my gosh, I did it. I learned how to duck dive. And I just kept doing it. 

Christine: So nobody was helping you. You got a little bit of instruction, but you just kept repeat, practice, repeat.

Michele: I ducked up like 50 times. I think it took me like 20 minutes. But I just told myself I'm not paddling out [00:25:00] until I learned how to duck dive.

Christine: So were you comfortable, catching the unbroken waves at that point? 

Michele: Yes. Mm-hmm. 

Christine: Okay. So you had covered that ground, but it was more like the technique of how do I get out quickly and efficiently?

Michele: Exactly. I was like, I'm tired of getting stuck on the inside and I just was committed to learning.

Michele: It took me a long time. To feel like I could do better. I didn't think, I thought I just sucked. I thought that I was just stuck in one place and I was like, this is just where I'm at. Pro surfers are good just because they're good. I didn't believe that you, I know it sounds really bad, but I didn't think like, if you really work hard at this, you could be better. And it wasn't until I met Derek. That, changed everything. 

Christine: Now we have to hear about Derek.

Michele: Well, I just remember when we first, when we started dating, he just told me one time, hey, don't take this in a bad way, but would you be open to what I have to say? And I was like, sure. And he said, hey, do you think maybe you wanna work on like your turns ? And I was like, I think I suck. No, just kidding. I was like, yeah. Well, what do you think I should do? He's like, I think you can, you're good. You can take a wave all the way to the inside, but I think you can maybe turn it up a little bit and like hit the lip a little more. I was like, Okay, well how do you do that? And then he started talking to me about a couple other things and, and it has helped my surfing a lot. After I started surfing with him, I started getting barreled and now getting barreled is like the best thing ever.

Christine: That's why the wave weren't big enough for you. There was no chance to get barreled yesterday. 

Michele: . Yeah. I'm thankful for him, you know, for seeing that potential in me.

Christine: What kind of qualities or what things did he do or say that made it sink in or that helped you the most? 

Michele: He said you can do that. He said, you can do an air if you want. And I was like, no, I can't. And he was like, yes you can if you just try. And I was like, But I don't wanna waste a wave. I would always say that. I don't wanna go on a wave and then waste it trying to do something and then fall. And he was like, who so cares?

Christine: That's so wild. I don't wanna waste it.  

Michele: I would say, I don't wanna waste the wave. I'm just gonna fall. I mean, just worked so hard at paddling. You know, and he was just like, No. you're gonna fall hundreds, thousands of times before you land something. But don't you wanna get better? Because he learned how to go switch and he knows how to do aires and get barreled and he said the only way I learned how to do aires was trying them a million times. He tried them for like four years, he said before he started really sticking them. 

Christine: So can you do aires? 

Michele: No. I think I did one, one time, but I probably like went up like a foot.

Christine: But you've gained a whole lot of confidence and it's that feeling that someone sees it in you, right? Even if you don't see it in yourself. But you had a lot of inner drive, obviously because of your whole story of everything that got you to surfing. 

Michele: Yeah. And competing in high school.
Right. But then for someone to see that potential in you and tell you to keep going. Right. To keep chasing it. 

Michele: Yeah. Gosh, that's important. Yeah. And of course now I do believe it, you know, like, I can do that. And it translate to a lot of other stuff, you know, life.

Christine: So, what, what kinds of things has it translated to? 

Michele: Teaching yoga and work

Christine: Let's talk about yoga a little bit. So what is the relationship between surfing and yoga, and how did they come together or how did one help the other? How has that relationship evolved?

Michele: Believing in yourself and especially when I started teaching the Vinyasa classes. I was like, okay, now I have to make up my own class. It's not hot flow. What if people hate this? I was like, I'm just gonna go for it and see what happens, working on my classes and writing them down and trying them out. 

Christine: So you definitely do a lot of prep even though you don't seem like you do.

Michele: Yeah. This journal that Tamara gave me and I have like, I don't know, a hundred classes or something written down. I would just like look at them, memorize them and practice them. [00:30:00] You learn from it. You know what feels right, what doesn't feel right, what students like, what they don't like.

Christine: That's actually really good to hear. Maybe it's that I have that level of control in me. I can't shake that. I feel that if I'm gonna go teach something, I need to, and I'm less experienced in you for sure, but I still wanna know everything that's going to happen in the class and practice it and have little note cards. 

Michele: But, you’re not gonna know everything that could happen in the class.

Christine: That's right. And, it gets better with time, of course. And I can imagine now maybe there's a little bit of improv that comes in at some point, but I still prepare every single class.

Michele: And that’s okay. 

Christine: What surprised you the most about your journey with surfing? Anything that came along the way or came with it that you didn't expect? Any doors that were open because of surfing. 

Michele: Well, I might have mentioned this before, but believing in my potential, that I can do so much more. You know, I never thought that I could, that I would travel, first of all. Surfing helped me with that. I remember being a little girl and flipping through magazines, and being like, wow, these waves are so awesome. I'm probably never gonna go. That's probably gonna be, it's probably just professional surfers that travel.

Michele: And I even dropped out of college and was like, I'm just gonna work a lot and, and save my money. I remember my mom was super upset. I'm just gonna travel, and that's what I did. And, I remember being like, whoa, I'm in the places I used to see in the magazines. 

Christine: So where all did you go?

Michele: I mean, I haven’t been to a million places, but I went to Nicaragua, El Salvador. I've been to Mexico, like mainland, and of course Bali, Indonesia. I feel like traveling has changed my life for sure. You know, just meeting different people, being very humble, seeing that people don't have what we have.

Christine: And is it always with around surfing? The idea is to go to where the wave is? 

Michele: Yeah. I do need to travel to other spots, not just for surfing, but I will. 

Christine: No, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I just wanted to be sure.

Michele: But yeah, it, it's changed me in those ways. I never thought that I could do that. And of course it reminds me to just to go for things, you know, like with being a real estate agent now. I never thought that I could do that, you know? And I remember when Jim offered me to work for him, I almost was like me. Oh, really? 

Christine: So you hadn't even thought about it and, and he asked you?

Michele: Yeah. And I remember thinking, I'm not good enough. And of course, right when I thought that, I was like, wait a minute, why am I not good enough? I am. You know, it's like you go back sometimes. And you're like, oh, wait, no, no, no. Check yourself. Get rid of that self doubt.

Christine: Because it can become a pattern so, so quickly.

Michele: And it's hard, but I feel like sometimes when you stay in your comfort zone, you don't grow, you get bored. I've caught myself getting, you know, depressed in the past, this was a long time ago, but just being stuck and you're not sure why you don't feel good, why you don't wake up motivated, and you're like, oh, it's because I don't have a challenge. So this is a good challenge for me. 

Christine: What is the most challenging thing about, about it? 

Michele: People know me as the yoga teacher. Which I still wanna be, I love yoga. I want people knowing me as an agent, or as soon as they think real estate they think Michelle. I think that's one of the hardest things for sure. And obviously, competing with people that have been in the business for, you know, 10, 15, 20 plus years. Why would they wanna work with a little newbie and little surfer girl? But it's about creating those relationships and being true and honest. You want to work with someone who's honest.

Christine: Absolutely. You talked about this idea that I've been thinking about so much which is love over fear. Can you talk about that concept a little bit [00:35:00] and maybe tie it into anything we've talked about so far? 

Michele: I feel like when I was, I don't know, like maybe close to 10 years ago, I was stuck, not growing because of being scared of the unknown, which, you know, translates to surfing and not going on that wave because it's scary. And, and I remember that it's a practice. It wasn't like just snap one day, but I was like, alright, I'm just gonna go for what I think is good for me. I know a lot of people wouldn't do the dropping out of college, but, I had to follow what I felt was right for me, not what my mom wanted me to do, stay in college. I wanted to travel and, and see parts of the world that I've never seen. I never even thought that I could get there. Same thing with yoga, just letting go of all the, BS and the thoughts, the fear, and just teaching and it's brought me so many great relationships. Like you, you know, friendships.

Christine: So it’s love of self. Is that where it begins? 

Michele: Yeah, and yoga taught me that too, it taught me how to love myself. Not even surfing taught me that, really. I mean, maybe it did and I just didn't realize it, but, but yoga taught me that for sure, especially after doing the teacher training. I was like, I love myself enough to do what I need to do. Yeah, that's what I actually remember right before I started teaching, I went to this yoga retreat down in Baja, and I remember it was right before New Year's, so I set an intention and I remember the intention was I am going to let go of fear. Whatever that meant. 

Michele: And I remember that two or three days later I came back and Monique said, hey, we're gonna do another a mock, if you want to do it. And I was like, No, thank you. And she was like, Why not? I know you wanna teach. And I was like, I don't wanna do it. And, and I think she knew it was because the last time I didn't get the spot. And so I was like, Oh my gosh, I told myself I was gonna let go of fear and just go for things that I didn't think I could do. And so I just practiced my little flow for like two days and, I got it. And I remember walking into that class and thinking, Just let go, Just let go. And I did it.

Christine: It's neat that Monique also saw that potential in you too. It's just like, Derek. 

Michele: Crazy. But yeah, letting go of fear. 

Christine: It's funny, to me, surfing the face of a big wave. I can't think of anything that could inspire more fear, really. I mean, there's probably some more extreme [00:38:00] adventure sports for sure, but that's scary. And so it seems that you've had many incidences in life or challenges or things that have presented maybe more fear than the big wave. Is that right? Or is it just because the big wave doesn't have that mystery anymore?

Michele: Well, no. It still scares me. I went to Pasquales for the first time down in Mexico. I remember being so scared and I was just like, okay, you're getting better at this. Get over the fear and just go out there and surf. And I remember going back to my room and crying. Not because I got hurt or anything, it was just because I was like, oh, I'm letting fear get in my way again.

Michele: You know, I'm not just going for it, but how can you go for this wave when it's huge? I remember getting stuck under, you know, I was like down underneath and I couldn't get up. I was stuck down there for like, I don't know, probably felt forever, but it was probably only like 10 seconds. But 10 seconds feels like a long time. And then that's when I was like, okay, just practice being calm and get your yoga practice on in here. Right? And just stay calm because the more you fight, the more intense it gets. You're wasting energy. 

Christine: Well, I was gonna ask you what person is in the most inspirational to you? But I think that person Derek?

Michele: Yeah, I know. Yes he is. I sometimes I just wanna like, cuz you know, he's so quiet and humble, kinda like you. [00:40:00]

Christine: Oh, Thank you. 

Michele: You know, you guys are great people. Sometimes I just wanna like, you know how when there's boxers the ring and they raise their hand when they win? I wanna do that sometimes with him, like grab his hand and raise it up. Be like, this is the guy. This is the guy. Because he's been such an inspiration, Not only is he a good person, not only does he respect people, he's a good listener. And of course he just takes care of everybody that he loves. He's an amazing son. He loves his mom. He's like the best son ever, great uncle and great boyfriend. And of course he just believes in everybody. You know, I've never heard someone say good job so many times that I started learning to do that. Like if somebody does a great job, you say it. Why not make someone’s day. And, he is an amazing surfer. I don't think you've ever seen him, but he's just such an inspiration and he's so humble. People go on surf trips and take all these pictures and he's just like, nobody take pictures of me, I’m just gonna surf. 

Christine: It's so reassuring to hear and I'm glad that you have one of those great people with you cuz you deserve him.

Michele: I know. I'm so lucky that he's my best friend. 

Christine: Yeah. Oh, that's the way, That's the best way to be. Do you have any, a funny or a kooky story about learning to surf or what is your kookiest moment surfing?

Michele: Yes. Well, when I first started to learn how to surf, now that I think about it, I didn't have a fin on my board like no fins. And of course like the duck diving thing, to not know how to duck dive after like two years. Oh my gosh. I also ran over a couple body boarders when I first learned to surf. My friends would be like, oh my gosh, you gotta watch for people. And then I was just like, they were in my way, but I feel so bad now. Oh my gosh, that was so dangerous. It's so dangerous to run over someone. 

Christine: Right, right. But you didn't have any fins, so you were less dangerous. 

Michele: Well, at that time I did have fins. But yeah, those were definitely kooky times. 

Christine: And so what role does surfing play in your life nowadays?

Michele: Well, it's almost like a constant reminder to just do what you have to do. You know, like yesterday you, you asked me, Would you have gone out today? And I said, nah, but then what else would I have done? Been on my computer, you know, working. I got a little break and I got to get out in the ocean, and that's the best thing. So it's a constant reminder to do the things that make you uncomfortable, even if you don't want to, because you never know, if you don't go. You never know you're gonna get the best barrel of your life if you don't go. It plays like a role model. Hopefully that answers your question. 

Christine: That's great. Yes. Thank you so much, Michelle. It was so fun. Thank you

Michele:. Thanks for having me. That was so nice of you to even think of me. 

Christine: Oh, you're the first person I thought of. And I’m probably learning to surf because of you and there's some other people too, but when I moved back to Oceanside, and I found the play studio and met you, I remember thinking, wow, I really. I wanna learn to surf. I'm gonna regret it if I don’t. I grew up by the ocean, how is it possible that I don't know how to surf?

Michele: It is the best thing. 

Christine: It is really, Even if you just go out there and you just catch the whitewash, it doesn't matter. Just being out in the ocean is, it's so rejuvenating. 

Michele: It absolutely does not matter. Yeah. Because that's how I fell in love with it. Yeah. It just being in the ocean and being humble, you know? Because the ocean can be at level one and then quickly turn to level 10. 

Christine: Thank you. 

Michele: Thank you. 

Christine: Thank you for listening. If you enjoyed this episode, please consider subscribing and if you feel inclined to leave a kind review, I would greatly appreciate it. I hope you'll stay tuned for the next Surf Tale on the Wilding 50 Podcast.